Acing It
by Forever-Furuba
Summary: Bog and Marianne are recently married, so of course they're having sex, right? No. One of them is asexual and the other respects that. It's getting other people to respect it (or at least recognize it's none of their business) that's the problem.


_For the record, this is not in the same continuity as 'Chaste'. In that one, they were both asexual. In this one, one of them is asexual, and the other has a sex drive but won't ask their partner to do anything they're uncomfortable doing. I did my best to keep it ambiguous which one is which. Unless noted otherwise, none of my stories are in continuity with one another._

* * *

 **Acing It**

"So, how was it?" Dawn asked.

"How was what?"

"You and Boggy just got married; what do you think I'm asking about?"

"It didn't really change anything, just made it official. It is nice we can be alone together without Dad lecturing me after about propriety."

"But how was … you know." Dawn made a suggestive hand movement. Marianne blinked. Dawn gestured again. Marianne flushed.

"Dawn, you're my baby sister! Even if I had a sex life, I wouldn't talk about it with _you_!"

Dawn's jaw dropped.

"You're … not … But, why not? You're both totally into each other, and now you're married and everything!" She frowned. "Why would you get married if you aren't going to sleep together?"

"Uh, because we're in _love_ with each other?" Marianne glared.

"No, gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean – I wasn't trying to – obviously a healthy relationship is more than just a sex thing –"

"Besides, there's attraction, it's just not," Marianne blushed again, "that kind. Not on both sides. And it's not really any of your business anyway," she concluded hastily.

"But what about having kids?"

"Adoption is a thing, Dawn."

"I know goblins don't really do clothing, but have you tried a sexy outfit?"

"Dawn!"

"Or if you're nervous, you know even better than I do what a sweetheart Boggy is – if you just say something, I'm sure he'd be fine with taking it slow and being really gentle –"

" _Conversation over, Dawn!_ "

"He knows your clothes are clothes and not really part of you, right? He doesn't think you're hurting yourself when you take them off?"

"DAWN!"

* * *

"Congratulations, Bog!" Griselda hugged her son tightly.

"You've said that every time you see me since I got engaged," he grumbled, half-hugging her back.

"I'm just so happy for you! Both of you! You've finally found someone!"

"I know. I was there."

"You're in love! You! You got married!"

"I was there for that part, too."

"And soon you'll be having _children_ and I'll be a _grandma_ …"

"What?"

She'd never nagged him about providing her with grandkids before. One of the things Bog had looked forward to during his and Marianne's engagement – besides the thrill of _marrying Marianne –_ was the idea that Griselda might finally calm down and stop poking at his life choices.

"I'm your mother, Bog, I know how it works. Find your best match, get married, make a few babies –"

"Mum!"

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about." She released him and he stepped back.

"Mum, it's not … we haven't actually …" Bog grasped at an excuse to avoid the awkward subject. "You don't know if goblins and fairies can have children together."

"But we don't know you can't. As long as you two are trying, there's a chance." She beamed proudly at him. "You're going to be a wonderful father."

"We're not trying to have –"

"Not every baby is on purpose."

"We're not having sex!"

Bog froze as the echo of his shout died away.

Griselda was speechless for a moment.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Fairies aren't as fragile as they look, you know."

"Believe me, I know."

"Is it a mechanical thing? Or do you just need more time alone –?"

"MOTHER!"

* * *

"Is it true you and the Bog King aren't having sex?"

Marianne scowled at Sunny. The elf took an involuntary step backwards from the fairy and squeaked, "Dawn told me."

Marianne rolled her eyes, then glared down at him. For the first time in years, being around Marianne made Sunny feel small.

"Is that any of your business?"

"Um. I guess not?"

"Good answer."

* * *

"Sire? Is it true that you and Queen Marianne –?"

"Thang. Don't."

"Yes, Sire." The small goblin rocked back and forth for a moment. "But is there anything I can do to help?"

"We don't need help."

"Yes, Sire." Thang looked to Stuff, who shook her head warningly. Still, he had to remind his king, "But if you do need help –?"

" _No_."

* * *

King Dagda really didn't want to be having this conversation. The topic was one he'd rather not think about, and there was no gracious way to bring it up.

"Marianne … Bog King …" He took a deep breath before saying in a rush, "Dawn tells me that you two aren't, uh, being intimate?"

"Of course she did," Marianne grumbled.

"That's no one's concern but our own," said the Bog King, his voice carrying just a hint of a growl.

"But, in the Fairy Kingdom, marriages are traditionally not considered official until they have been … consummated."

"But that's not actually the law," Marianne pointed out. "And it would only ever become relevant if Bog and I decided we wanted an annulment."

"The Dark Forest doesn't have that tradition," the Bog King added.

"There may be those who would use this as grounds to contest your … union."

"Then it sucks to be them," said Marianne flatly. "We've dealt with detractors since before we got engaged."

Bog took Marianne's clenched fist in his hand and kissed her knuckles. She relaxed. The adoration and admiration between them was plain to see in how they looked at each other.

"We're in love," the Bog King said evenly. "Marianne is my wife. I am Marianne's husband. End of story."

Dagda didn't raise the topic again.

* * *

They snuggled in their bed, under a blanket of moss.

"You know … if you really wanted to, I could _try_ –"

"Hush. We talked about this before we got married. I'm in love with _you_ , not the idea of having sex with you."

"I want to show you how much I love you."

"I know you love me. You don't need to prove anything, to me or to anyone else."

"But I know you still have … _urges_ … and I, I want to be everything you need in a partner."

"I _can_ masturbate, sweetheart."

The kiss they shared was tender and intimate.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

They fell asleep cuddled together, stroking each other's backs.

* * *

 _Those who read both will notice I used the same closing lines as 'Scaly-Backed Cockroach'. This was on purpose, to comment on how both sexual and non-sexual romances are valid expressions of romantic love. (That said, I wrote 'Acing It' first.)_

 _Happy Valentine's Day!_


End file.
